and then my heart pours out

Well kid, it's hard to believe that in 1 short week you won't be my baby anymore. I can't even remember life without you. Ok, maybe I can. But it wasn't the same. I am a changed person. I see life completely differently and would never go back. My heart aches so much more than it ever did about just about everything. They say that when you have children, it's like your heart is walking around outside your body. So true.

I turn into a wet rag just thinking about this past year. I had to take the time to sit down and think about all the things that melt my heart on a daily basis. It's going to be too soon before these memories fade (and new ones take their place) so I wanted to stay in the moment for one little blog entry. Indulge me, will you? Emma, these are the things I cherish about you:

You take tumbles really well. You are one tough toenail. You rarely cry, and the look on your face as you get yourself back up and try again is priceless. You are one determined, fearless little girl.

You loooove the water. During bath time you practically dunk yourself under water, and roll around chasing your squirty toys. Today you made me laugh when you kept the wet washcloth on your head (covering your face) for a good 2 minutes and kept giggling under it thinking I couldn't see you. :)

You give the best open-mouthed kisses I have ever had.

I love the way you cross your legs every single time you sit in the stroller, the carseat or the highchair.

You loooove babies. Hands down, the cutest sign you demonstrate is the "baby" sign. (cradling/rocking an invisible baby). When I ask you "who is parker?" you give the baby sign. He's your baby. :)

You are obsessed with anything that flies - airplanes, helicopters and birds make you stop in your tracks, look up and point that crooked little finger up to the sky to show me. Absolutely adorable.

Some nights, when I see you sleeping peacefully in your crib on the video monitor, I just want to crawl in there and lay down right next to you.

Every time you hear a beat - the beeping of a schoolbus, the clanking of a spoon in a coffee cup, the alarm clock or the microwave - you dance. It's more of a dolphin swim/rock, but its your version of dance and it's perfect. I hope you enjoy dancing as much as your mama does!

You have the shortest, fattest little feet I've ever seen. They're so fat that I can't squeeze them into any of the cute little shoes you've gotten. The only ones that fit have laces. (see picture above)

You are most definitely, 100%, a daddy's girl. You have him wrapped around your finger like a fruit roll up on a 7th grade school kid at lunchtime.

Anywhere we go, you laugh, smile, wave and cackle at people. You have already adopted your parents love of people-watching, but you are the one who wants to be watched! You make THEM laugh with your laugh. You. are. contagious.

You are curious about every little hole you see, and feel the need to plug it with your finger. It doesn't matter if it's a screw hole on the back of your toy, or the spout to the water dispenser, a hole in the backyard concrete patio, or a detail on my shoe. You will stick your finger in it, and yes, all our outlets are covered :)

Your hands - I could just eat them. The way you pick up your food so delicately and with such slow, methodical movements. You can pick up one little string of spaghetti, and transfer it onto your spoon. This might take 5 minutes, and it might fall several times, but you keep at it and you're so focused that your little tongue sticks out. I would just sit there and watch you for hours if I could.

Speaking of food, you love it. Particularly peas! I'll splatter a whole mash of stuff on your plate: veggie sausage, mango, noodles, cheese, avocado, corn, peas, etc. and you will single-handedly pick each and every pea out of the pile first.

I stay pretty cool when you fuss, whine, yell, shriek, pout or balk. But so help me God, if you get that real, honest cry (the kind with tears) and that little lip starts quivering, I turn into mush. I would walk over broken glass, uphill, in the snow, to not see those tears. Roger will testify, I can't do tears. I just melt. (Please don't read this when you're 13).

I wish I could keep you like this forever. At this point in time, we can do no wrong. I know that won't last but it sure fills me up. We're so unbelievably lucky that you came into our lives and made us whole. You're so much fun to be around and you are one of a kind. I have had the honor and priviledge of keeping you close to me all year 'round and watching you develop into your own little goofy self. Thank you for you for giving me true purpose. Love ya bun-bun.